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How To Build or Rebuild Trust
Trust can take a lifetime to build and only a second to lose.
1. Stop Lying
When we tell the truth, even when it isn t pleasant, we become much more trustworthy. Becoming known as a person who doesn t lie, even in tough times or moments of significant pressure, shows people your moral strength. Being appreciated for honesty sustains trustworthiness.
2. Set Your Expectations
Studies show the average person tells 4 lies per day. People are human, frail, and sinful. The key is to trust people as who they are rather than the person we want them to be.
3. Do What You Say Youre Going To Do
The foundation of trust typically doesn t break suddenly, it erodes over time. Keep your eye on the small things. Canceling or failing to follow through on simple tasks will create hairline fractures in your trustworthiness. Enough of those, and the foundation will crumble.
4. Be A Better Communicator
This is the single most important part of relationship management. There are many ways to grow your skills in this area but start with being a better listener (and the most effective listeners use their eyes). Remember that 93% of communication is non verbal.
5. Express Your Needs Clearly
Value your needs enough to convey them. It s unfair and unhealthy to exist in a relationship where your partner or friends must guess about your needs.
6. Be Positive
This goes hand in hand with smiling. We naturally trust people we perceive to be nice. Why do you think salespeople grin so much? I once heard a researcher say when it comes to trust we believe 99% of what we see and 1% of what we hear.
7. Embrace Shared Rather Than Personal Goals
Trust comes when we feel our partner (or team) is pulling together to accomplish a shared vision, rather than a personal agenda. This is the essence of teamwork. When a team really works, the players trust one another. As my wife always says it takes teamwork to make the dream work.
8. Dont Allow Issues To Go Unresolved
Allowing any issue, no matter how small, to go unaddressed manifests into larger issues. Putting a problem off for later discussion or dismissing it with hopes of it being forgotten is the worst conflict resolution strategy. If you have an issue, address it, even if only to acknowledge it. When you start talking about a problem, you re half way to resolving the problem.
9. Hold To Your Highest Moral Standard
This is very important in romantic relationships or when leading a team. It s critical for people to feel confident that you will not falter or betray them. When your ability to be true or dedicated isn t questioned, being trusted becomes a stronger consideration.
10. Volunteer Information
I fall victim to this often. I ll come back from hanging out with the fellas and my wife will ask how it went and I ll say it was cool. No bueno Why? Because she wants to know more than that. When an opportunity to be vague arises, don t take it. Tell people things they need or want to know. If you begin to provide reliable information they will trust you.
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